Requiem
by Jerryst316
Summary: A letter in the night, that could not be ignored...R/R?


Note: The characters aren't mine of course. This is just a little one shot. I hope you enjoy!

**Requiem**

Death always speaks of tragedy. Death binds us, gives us a reason to live more fully, and as the inevitable conclusion of life, it stalks us for better or worse. When it finally reaches us, we seemingly beg for a stay of execution, for just a moment more so that we can accomplish that one elusive goal or find that last bit of happiness in a life far too short. The tragedy of death isn't in life, but in a life not lived. A life squandered by missed opportunity and regret.

Of course, I think that's when we realize that the real enemy isn't death. Death isn't an enemy we can defeat, we can't smash a walk-off homerun or score an empty-netter on death, we simply understand that death is inevitable. The same can be said for the passing of time. Instead of death and taxes, it should be death and time…

I've always found that to be poetic in a way-for life to exist death must follow. The same can be said of love actually, hate must exist for love to flourish. It's just a matter of time. And space. Yin and Yang, opposites…

Plato said it best; the Golden Mean, and even early eastern philosophy and religion speak of the duality of this world. Light cannot exist without dark, love cannot exist without hate, and good cannot exist without evil…

No, the real enemy we face is the war we fight between our heart and our mind. If we could just be Vulcans, then it wouldn't matter, but since I don't have pointy ears or live on a newly terra-formed planet after Vulcan was destroyed by a black hole, I'll finally have to accept that the true battle we fight is one we could easily win. For some…

Besides, I believe the Vulcans were incorrect on one important issue: emotions are not weaknesses that we must squelch. Emotions are power, the effects of a heart that beats for what makes life fantastic, and by embracing them, we allow ourselves to experience the world in a manner befitting of a human being. Our minds may be powerful, but our hearts are extraordinary. When you wear your heart on your sleeve the battle is a tad easier, but when your heart has been torn apart, ripped open for the world to see over and over again, and you have had to find the strength and resolve to carefully sew it back together again, you find that the battle is much more complex and difficult.

It's the classic story, 300 Spartans versus a massive Persian army at The Battle of Thermopylae, and though they held the pass for seven days, you know how that stand ended. When all you've known is heartbreak and despair, your heart is King Leonidas as he makes his last stand. When you wear your heart on your sleeve, it's Xerxes, and with the knowledge of ultimate victory, it's easy to fight the battle. Of course, that's why Leonidas is the hero, it's why he is remembered in movies and song, and few know the name Xerxes.

What's funny is that she reminds me of King Leonidas—strong, brave, loyal, fiercely determined, and willing to give her life for something greater. Justice.

Freedom.

Of the multitude of traits I admire about her, her ability to love and passion for life, far too often hidden behind a wall of grief and failure, are the ones that have made me a better person. When I am with her, I am forced to be something other than fake, something other than silicon because she demands the same that she gives. She is my foundation, my hope, my northern star, and while her brilliant mind demands more of me as I struggle to stay even, her heart shines brightly even behind the wall. Her heart draws me in with the promise of a life worth living and an adventure of which I will never tire. We complement each other and yet are polar opposites, we shouldn't work on paper, and we are certainly not named after pandas.

In many respects, it's why I finally forgave her. I understand now why she held that truth from me, I understand why her secret was so important, and though it pained me in the moment, I finally understood how I was her last stand. How I was that one last shred of hope in a world born of fear and pain and agony, how I was her light amongst the darkness, how I was her siren song beckoning her to a world without the pangs of a tragic life no human should face alone, and though she could never truly lose me, how could I be mad at her when she essentially chose me over your case?

Did I forget to mention that? I guess I did. You see, our story is one of love and missed opportunities, but our recent past is marred with the secrets we held from each other in the hopes that the other would live and be happy. Someday. We were misguided and foolish, but I think love has a tendency to make anyone do those things that seem fool-hearty.

My secret nearly destroyed us, it nearly ripped both our hearts out for the final time, but as is the norm, she found the string, she found the resolve and sewed us back together with a strength and fierce will that has come to define her. A strength that I admire and love unconditionally.

Then, last night changed everything. Her wondrous heart shown more brightly than her mind. She came to me as an equal (and how honored I am), told me she loved me too, that the dew soaked grass of a cemetery whispered my words to her again when she woke from that drug induced haze, we fought, and when it was over, she carefully helped me to patch the hole in my heart she tore with her own confession.

Her love put me back together, as I for her.

So, I feel that I need to do this, sitting here at 4:30 in the morning, with Kate asleep in the next room. I am writing you this letter Johanna because I wanted to thank you. Thank you for this beautiful gift you have given the world, thank you for the love you have provided for me and thank you for one of the greatest gift I have ever and will ever receive. My only hope is that, for the rest of my life, I can work and strive to be good enough to deserve this precious gift you and your memory provide. I hope beyond hope that I am worthy of the choice she made and the battle she is now ready to fight.

And so I make you this promise. We will find the justice you so richly deserve, but we will do it together and we will do it right. I will support her and bring her through this, she will enrich my life and make me a better person everyday, and together, we will honor what you stood for and the final stand you took those many years ago. Be at peace Johanna, and know that I will do everything in my power to give her the life she deserves.

You will never be forgotten.

And if it's not too much trouble, could you ask her to share a little more of the blankets? I am so cold right now!

With everlasting gratitude,

Rick

**A/N: Reviews would be wonderful, so tell me what you think?**


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